You’re already carrying the weight of the world in your tummy, the last thing you need is rude and immature passes made at you and your pregnant belly. When will people understand? Making a child is not child’s play! Here’s an attempt to stop your partner and others alike, fresh in their tracks. Things to not say to an expecting mother, unless feeling especially daredevil.
1. How can you eat so much?
So what if she ate 8 chicken tacos and is now on her third bowl of ice cream? The only thing to ask her is, if she would like chocolate fudge with that. She’s eating for two people. Being a little considerate, won’t bite you.
2. You’re acting insane right now!
She is less person and more hormones right now. Unless you’re trying to awaken the Hulk, steer clear of that phrase, mate. Let her get it out of her system, nod and affirm, every now and then and top it off with a hug.
3. You Know XYZ worked out all through her pregnancy.
Do you like getting the cold shoulder? Because that’s where you’re headed with these lines. DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT compare her pregnancy to someone else’s. No two pregnancies are alike; Not even consecutive ones!
4. Why do you read so many books on pregnancy?
Does it in some way, bother your physical being? Her reading a couple of books on pregnancy? If she is done with her 8th book, inching towards the 9th, all you should be asking her is if she needs a pillow for her back. She is anxious and curious and books help her world from spinning out of control.
5. You shouldn’t get an epidural, its bad for the baby!
An unmedicated childbirth can be painful as all hell and can push her buttons like you can never imagine. She can end up saying and doing unimaginable things, that you might end up, being on the receiving end of.
6. Your craving will pass.
Um. Is it your craving, you’re trying to satiate? No. So keep out of it. She wants nutella topped cherries in the middle of the night, find a 24 hours grocer. Or better yet, stack up the fridge for when the need arises.
7. Your body will go back to normal.
Is her body abnormal now? This is a lesson in sensitivity for all you folks who would attempt to say this. Her body is running miracles while you run your mouth, so what if she’s a little out of shape, the baby is going to be a thing of wonder.
8. I Know what you’re going through.
Do not be fooled human, you do not know what she’s going through. To push something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of an apple is not only unimaginable but a commendable feat. Don’t for one second, compare your passing a kidney stone to the miracle of childbirth.