Marriage. The anticipations and apprehensions leading up to the big day know no bounds. The pre wedding jitters and the unending euphoria, weddings really are a thing of dreams. A marriage, however, isn’t child’s play. It requires your time, energy, effort, and dedication, and most of all, your passion and love. A marriage cannot work without communication and mutual respect.
As hard as you try, there’s nothing that can truly prepare you for what’s up ahead. No matter how many checklists and resolutions you may make, it’s a whole new ball game once you actually go ahead with it. There’s something new round every corner and you may be pleasantly surprised what your marriage holds in store for you.
Here are some things you learn in your first year of marriage:
1. Honeymoon Phase
The first year of marriage is what you could refer to as the honeymoon phase. It’s the sweetest and youngest part of the marriage. This is the year where you’re probably going to receive the most romantic treatment from your spouse. You both start growing together which is an experience like no other; it’s strange, unfamiliar, and new, but all in good ways. Your first anniversary will probably be one of the best because you both are going to try your hardest to impress each other. This will probably involve a lot of romance, love, effort, and fun (wink wink).
2. Questions and Answers
Be prepared for a lot of questions and a lot of unsolicited advice. One question you’re probably going to be hearing a lot is “When are you planning on having a baby?”. You’ve just gotten married, yes, but don’t freak out. It’s just in human nature to be nosy. It gives you and your spouse something to laugh about when you’re sitting alone at home. The unsolicited advice will pertain to a lot of things from what kind of decor your home should have to what kind of sex life you should have. Worry not. It’s something we all experience. You do your thing and don’t worry about what everyone says.
Don’t, for one minute, kid yourself by thinking that you and your spouse aren’t going to fight. We don’t live in a land of fairytales where people can just magically mash their lives together. You have your own ways of doing things, including working, relaxing, and chores, so it’s no surprise if your method of doing this stuff clashes with your spouse’s methods. What you will gain out of this is that you both learn to adapt and compromise and solve these differences. You’ll start working together in a whole new way than before. You’re better integrated and synchronized with each other and it’s just like magic.
You know what they say about marriage: you’re not just marrying a person, you’re marrying a family. This is never as clear as it is in your first year of marriage. The life you now lead is shared by their child as well, which gives them default say in everything you do. Once you get on their good fight, you have supporters for any disagreement you may have with your spouse. They will spoil you and the satisfaction to get from keeping them happy is unparalleled. You’re gaining a whole new support system.
Your sex life is going to be at it’s peak this year. Once you’re married, you start building a different level of trust with your spouse from what you had before. This is very good news for your sex life because it means that you’ll probably trust each other enough and be comfortable enough to try out something different in bed. You can reveal your wildest fantasies to each other, and once you figure out what’s most pleasurable for the both of you, your nights in will be some of the most mind blowing nights of your life.
So, like I mentioned before, you’ve made your checklists and resolutions and you’re ready to take on this challenge. Or are you? Once you actually start living your married life, everything feels different. You feel like a child who is trying to be an adult. You’re running around trying to manage your work, your home, and your new life with your partner. It’s one of the most fun parts about the beginning of your marriage. Staying up till 2 AM with your partner, trying to figure out how to fix that leaky faucet or still cleaning up the dishes after that party you hosted is an experience you don’t want to miss out on. You come to know each other on a completely new and different level. You will have a ball figuring out how to settle down and calm down your life and make things work. It’ll require effort, but it’s all worth it.
This is my favorite part. The best thing about the first year of marriage is feeling the new support system you have gained. This unusual addition is one to be welcomed with open arms and an open heart. Your spouse is your best mate, your sword, your shield, your crutch, your punching bag, and everything you need. She/he is there when you need to vent, when you need to cry, when you want to laugh, or when you want to go outside and shoot some hoops. Learn how to make full use of this new support system without taking advantage of it or being dependent on it. It’s important to remember that you both are individual people with individual lives, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be supporting figures in each others’ lives.