Before the sunrise
There will come a time in the course of every parent cycle, where the child will be the fussiest possible, but you know that violence is not the answer to any solution. And like your parents before, and their parents, you swore to raise your child differently from the way you were raised.
As time progresses you begin to see why your parents adopted such methods while raising you, you being to understand and sympathise with them and wonder if you were this much of a problem to them.
Worry not, we’re here to help you think of other ways to discipline your child.
Ways to control your toddler
1. They smell fear, don’t give in
If you want to raise your child the right way you need to be persistent in the way you raise them. If you give in, it will only add to their behaviour and make them try more often. If your child asks or does something unreasonable, you have to say no then and there, if your child can be persistent, then so can you.
The first time may seem hard, you don’t want to say no to your child, and you want to give them everything they ask for, but then you realize how impractical this can be for you and your child. Saying no is the first step in correcting your child and educating him by teaching him a lesson that not everything is free. You do not want to spoil your child.
2. This isn’t inside out! Don’t let your emotions control you
It is important for you to understand this, when you are angry or emotional do not lecture your child, do it when you’re calm. When you scold your kids when angry, all they notice is the emotion and negativity, which might impact badly on them while they’re still growing and this will lead to a change in their outlook towards you.
Lecture them in an emotionless tone, which manages to portray your disappointment towards their behaviour and show them how you will not tolerate this behaviour. Be firm, but do not be rude.
3. Let them reflect on their lives while staring at a wall
It’s good to give your child a timeout. This may seem like a small simple punishment, but to them, it causes a feeling of frustration and helplessness and will also give them the time to reflect on their actions.
Your child will only learn what is wrong when he understands it himself. If you give your child a timeout, he will start to think about the situation, try to figure out what got him there, and then try to avoid doing so, henceforth.
4. Give them the stink eye
You know the look, you got it from your parents, you know what that look meant. Now it’s time to use it on your children. A lot can be understood from a look, but this particular look will be one of the best weapons you will ever own.
This look can mean anything, from a simple “don’t do that”, to a “try it again and see what happens” this look will say it all. To get your child to register this look, try using it every time you lecture him, so he knows what to think. When you finally use it on him, he will get flashbacks about his mistakes and what further consequences will be.
5. Do what Skinner did
B. F. Skinner, a very well known psychologist formulated a theory which states that the behaviour of a person can be changed through special conditioning. Using Skinner’s theory of conditioning, if you want your child to behave in a certain way, reward him each time he does something good, and punish him when he does something bad. Just like Skinner’s experiment, you will use positive and negative reinforcement.
When your child is used to certain stimuli, he will try to behave in such a way in order to receive positive reinforcement, after a certain point, stop providing positive feedback, and increase your standards, your child will learn to adapt and further improve his behaviour.
6. Last resort
Violence is never the answer, but at times you must correct your child with a slap on the hand, they need to know that certain things are not to be touched, said or done. A sudden shout will also do as it will shock the child and lead them to a state of dismay.
By all means, possible try avoiding reaching this state with the child, as it will set a bad imprint on the mind of the child. Use this method when no other way seems possible but always start with a sudden loud shout and never a beating.
There is always a dawn…
Just remember, this is all temporary and you might never have to use these methods again if your child understands his mistakes. Children are fussy and troublesome in nature, we shouldn’t always have to discipline them. Let them be and enjoy their fun and don’t forget to laugh with them and enjoy the good times with them.