‘It’s natural to want to be a perfectionist in one area of your life, such as your job,’ says Gordon Flett, professor of health psychology at York University in Canada. But when it becomes an obsessive need for the perfect job, child, relationship, bank balance and body, it causes extreme stress and can affect not only relationships but even your health.
Parents want to give the best of things to their kids. In the attempt of being a perfect mum, you might end up stressing yourself, which might end up causing certain serious diseases such as insomnia, heart diseases and even cause early deaths.
Children tend to demand being held and constantly interacted with. When they grow up, they want their mothers to take them out to the playground. From their meals to their sleep, to their play time, mothers have to take care of everything. In the midst of all this, mothers rarely find moments for themselves to rest. It is necessary that you don’t forget about your health while trying to aim for perfection.
A lot of people undergo stress and anxiety when the society doesn’t approve of their way of parenting. They’d rather set up benchmarks according to the society, and try to do anything to prove themselves and form an image, which the society is willing to accept. On the other hand, social support and the community you live in has been found to be a leading contributor to health-related issues in numerous studies and researches.
Good parenting is when you are sensitive to your child’s need, fulfill them and make them independent. When you lack confidence and feel stressed about parenting, it is hard to be sensitive, warm and consistent. This is when you tend to yell at them rather than explaining things calmly. Never make your child the victim of your anger and frustration.
Social media websites are great contributors to the craze behind good parenting, and have given a definition of perfection and have set benchmarks. People try to idealize and follow these parenting styles blindly just so they can be called perfect parents. It is always good to take suggestions from these websites, but not torture you to become what they consider “best”.
You might perceive shortcomings as a parent, but that shouldn’t become a reason for you to spoil your health. You need to accept failures without self-criticism. Be a proud mother because we know that you love your child.
“This idea that we should be trying to be and do all things for our kids ends up making us not very good parents because we’re unhappy and miserable,” says Katherine Stone, the founder of Postpartum Progress, a blog and non-profit organisation dedicated to raising awareness of the maternal mental illness. She goes on to say that, “Being happy and healthy is multitudes better for your children than you attempting to prove you can do everything perfectly.”
Always try to make your parenting joyful and memorable, not stressful and depressing. Give yourself the permission to be imperfect.