Do you miss your toddler not being a toddler anymore? Or have you always dreamt of having two children? Well, we do dream of a house with children creating a ruckus in it when someone utters the word “family” to us, and indeed that is the dream for many of us. But is it really that easy to have a second child? Is it a convenient option in your situation?
We understand how important family is to each one of us. We also know how different the meaning of family is to each one of us. For some of you who have grown up with siblings, it is but natural for you to want to provide you are first born with the same, fun – filled and happy experience. However, you might have to rethink your decision considering that times have changed immensely and there a lot more to consider if you plan on having another child.
Here, we help you understand if you are ready for your second child. So brace yourself and read each point very carefully.
1. Financial Conditions
Are you both doing well in terms of ensuring financial stability at home? Did you have to stop working to take care of your firstborn? Or have you just rejoined work now that your toddler has grown enough to rely on others? Think about it again.
Childcare isn’t a meagre responsibility these days and it takes a lot of money to raise a child. Nope, we’re not kidding and you know it too now that you’re raising your firstborn. From trivial things related to the grocery for children to more serious things such as school fees, it is crucial to raise two children, as it demands a certain standard of living. So think twice.
The reason we want you to be absolutely sure of your decision is that it’s tough to provide children with the lifestyle that you feel is desirable in the 21st century. And this is why a lot of parents have chosen to raise a single child, which has worked out for them
We feel it is absolutely okay even if you decide to limit your family strength to 3 as long as you’re confident of your financial support and trust us, sometimes it’s for the best.
2. Complications In Previous Pregnancy
Pregnancy isn’t smooth for everyone. For some women, it is a complicated phase, medically speaking. In case you’ve had a rough pregnancy the first time, where you kept your gynaecologist on her toes all the time, we suggest you don’t push yourself for another one anytime soon. Consult your gynaecologist and see if your body is ready to bear another child.
If you had your first child at the age of 30 and are older now, you must have a check up done to see if there’s any risk of unsafe pregnancy. Now, if you’re confused as to why we’re mentioning the age, you must know that pregnancy becomes more and more complicated for women as the age.
The chances of miscarriages and other complications increase as you cross over from your 20s to your 30s. It may not hold true in all cases, but it has been found to be so in most cases. Just be careful.
3. Hectic Work Schedule
If you’re a working mum having a tough time managing your firstborn, we suggest you hold that thought of a second child for a while. There’s absolutely no point in rushing when you’re juggling both work and home life with an addition of the babycare duty of the firstborn. Trust us, you don’t want to sideline your firstborn and his/her needs (physically and emotionally), and your decision to have another one might make you do just this.
Hence, take your time. Sort out your priorities, see if both you and your husband can manage to raise another child at the moment and then go for it.
In case you want a second one, reorganise your schedule and plan it all out in advance. We wish you good luck!
4. Does Your Firstborn Have Special Needs?
In case your firstborn is a special child or has a slow learning pace, you really shouldn’t plan on a second one for some time in our opinion. We understand your urge to extend the family size, but this does not mean you ignore your first child’s needs for it. Special children require more attention and patience, and you should not compromise on it.
Remember, you have a child that you chose to breathe life into. Don’t ignore him/her for the sake of a bigger family.
5. Do You Really Want To Have Another Child?
Often, we push ourselves for another child because the society demands it. In a country like ours, it really isn’t a rare thing. You may have your in-laws or even your parents pushing you to have another child for numerous reasons such as – to give your firstborn company or to ensure you have a secured future in terms of having old age support- but take a moment to think about whether this is what YOU really want.
If you feel your family is complete with your firstborn and your husband, then we say seal it and concentrate on nurturing what you have.
It should come from the heart. Trust us, that is all it’s about at the end of the day.