The seemingly small selfish thoughts that cross your mind here and there might have a larger effect on your marriage than you think. No matter how hard you try to keep these thoughts to yourself, they will build up, and eventually spill over. This will collapse the entire foundation on which you built your marriage. So, what do you think these ruthless thoughts could be?
A few of them have been listed below.
1. My happiness comes before his/hers
Every marriage knows happiness and conflict. However, thinking your contentment and problems are of more importance than your better half’s, or putting pressure on your spouse to create your happiness, puts a heavy burden on both of you. In time, your spouse will confront you with the topic of your selfishness and this conversation (or heated argument) will be the end of your happy relationship.
2. It would’ve been better with someone else
Humans are greedy by nature and we can’t help it. Even when we have the best, we want what we think is better. Most married couples have, at some point of time, felt that their marriage would’ve worked better if there was someone better in the place of their spouses. This drives a wedge between couples, as this thought is eventually acted upon, making the “better half” feel like they are unwanted.
3. We’re not made for each other
The unrealistic expectations set by movies lead us to believe that everything has to be perfect in a marriage. Due to this, one bump on the (marriage) road means you’re not “made for each other”, when in reality, this is not the case. It is important to understand that knowing your spouse’s likes and dislikes and accepting their differences from yours is what makes your marriage a strong establishment.
4. The kids don’t care
Despite what most of us think, kids of all ages are affected by disputes between their parents. Know that any decision you take emotionally affects your child and may lead to drastic consequences in their lives.
5. I married you, not your family
To believe that the more isolated you are from your partner’s family, the less troubles you’ll come across, is a big lie. Any effort you make towards getting to know your in-laws will only get you into your spouse’s good books. Also, it will help you understand how your spouse turned out to be the way he/she is today.
6. My husband/wife need not be my friend
The best relationships are ones that are built on trust and friendship. Confiding in your partner with all your problems and worries, and sharing your happiness with them, is what a marriage is essentially made of. Make him/her your best friend and you will not regret it.
7. What they don’t know won’t hurt them
Small lies that you might consider to be harmless can build up over time. Soon, when your partner gets to know of these lies, you will realize that they are not so small after all. So, instead of focusing on hiding things from your partners, try talking to them about anything without too much worry about their reaction. Communication is the key to any successful marriage.
If you happen to have any of the above thoughts running through your head, get rid of them now. You married your partner because you knew at the time that he/she was the person you wanted to spend your life with. Try reviving your relationship by talking and listening to him/her more.
By doing this, the old sparks between you two will start flying again and strengthen your confidence in your marriage.
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