Compromise, sacrifices, forgiveness, favours, patience and compliments – these are the fundamental elements of a long-lasting marriage. As your relationship blossoms and you learn more about each other, you will grow more and more into the partner your partner always dreamed of!
But no two people are alike and no one is perfect. This is the very basis for so many fights in even the strongest marriages. Here we have listed out some of the most common issues faced by couples and what to do in these situations.
1. Lack of Appreciation
There may be a lack of acknowledgement or appreciation for the work done by either husband or wife. The wife would not appreciate the fact that the husband does not help with chores at home, especially if she is working and coming home to do all the chores by herself. The husband may not appreciate it if the house looks untidy, especially when the wife is not earning.
There needs to be a discussion about the equal distribution of chores and responsibilities, so that no one feels burdened. If anything seems unfair, discuss it openly instead of bottling up feelings and letting it explode at a later stage. Also, instead of ordering or demanding particular chores to be done by the other person, make a list of all the chores to be done and then choose which ones each one wants to do. The ones that neither wants to do, you could always take turns and do them on rotation.
2. Busy Schedules
Suppose the work load has increased by quite a margin this week or month. When you have a hectic schedule, you tend to feel stressed out and when you are stressed, you tend to say things that you don’t really mean to say.
Again, this can be fixed with a bit of communication. Just talk to your partner about work and how hectic it is going to be. Decide how you want to spend time when you get back from work. If you feel too tired on some days, just say so.
3. Financial Stress
Many couples do have conflicts over money. One may care too much about money, while the other may not care as much. This may lead to fights that are directly related to money or are caused due to stressing over money issues. These fights can increase during poor economic conditions.
The solution is to work on this as a team. Jot down your goals as a family – this could be about your house, cars, education loans for the kids, vacations and retirement plans. Open a joint bank account if you haven’t done so already and deposit a significant amount of your income into this account. The remaining amount can be kept aside for your own personal use. Have regular review sessions for your financial goals with your partner as well.
A lot of fights are caused by misunderstandings or due to a lack of communication. You may of course talk to your partner, but they may not understand your true intentions or may not see your point of view. This occurs due to an unwillingness to spend time to listen or understand.
Set up a date with your partner, right in the comforts of your home! This is the only way to set things right. If you have kids, put them to sleep or send them off to their grandparent’s house. Keep your phones on vibrate, and hear each other out. Do not interrupt each other while talking. Remember to maintain a calm tone as you speak. Let it all sink in and think carefully before you reply.
Cheating is one of the top reasons why couples fight. Whether it is an emotional affair or a physical one, it is still cheating and can be very hard to deal with. It kills the trust and commitment level that are essential for a long-lasting relationship.
Confrontation is the first step to dealing with infedility. If you are the cheating partner, own up to your partner before they find out. If your partner is cheating, let them know that you know. You can now decide what the next step has to be. If you wish to give your cheating partner another chance, plan on spending a lot of time with each other and building on the emotional aspect of the relationship. It will definitely take a lot of hard work and patience to restore the trust completely. At the end of the day, the final decision is entirely up to the two of you and how you deal with it.
6. Disagreements in parenting
One of you may want to be strict and the other may not. One of you may want your child to join a sports or music club and the other may just want to let the child decide. These differences often lead to heated up arguments.
When you find yourself arguing about this, take a deep breath and just listen to your partner for a minute. Once they have told you their opinion on why music is important for every child or how being good at sports can help develop discipline in your child, you can talk about how your child seemed uninterested the last time they tried. If the conflict is about how to discipline your child, explain why your methods seem right. List out the pros and cons of both techniques and come to a decision.