Where there is love, there is conflict. It is said that we fight the most with the ones we love the most. We marry the person we love and hence, reserve the right to fight with them, get angry with them, apologise and then make up. Marriages are not easy, especially when kids come around.
Initially, most couples are happy due to the newest addition to their family – their bundle of happiness. After some time has passed, this same joy turns into bitterness and causes disputes among partners.
Here are some ways to avoid conflict in your marriage.
1. Own up to your mistakes
The fight starts due to one thing, but most commonly ends up on something entirely different. Words meet words and bitter experiences are brought up. Couples often lose track and completely forget about what they were arguing about in the first place. In such cases, it is ideal for the person in fault to accept his/her mistake rather than playing the blame game.
It might just happen that nobody was to blame in the entire dispute. Sometimes, misunderstandings occur and divert people in various directions. To prevent this, it is very important to listen to your spouse’s side of the story, without any form of prejudice. Act as a third party and evaluate the situation.
Couples should be mature enough to realise the importance of talking things over, calmly. More often than not, an argument escalates, which further develops into a ‘shouting match’. Stop! Just stop when something like that happens. Take a tea break, go for a movie or just refrain from speaking about the topic for a set period of time. Once both your tempers have had the chance to cool down, you will fight fairly.
4. Make ‘I’ statements
If the argument is based on some opinion, then learn to own up to your choices. Make ‘I’ statements instead of ‘you’ statements. “I want you to take care of the baby because ‘I’ am tired”, sounds way better than “I want you to take care of the baby because ‘you’ never do so”.
5. Touch therapy
Physical touch is a powerful simulator of various hormones in one’s body. Just the touch of your partner may, at times, calm down your anger. Holding hands, or sitting close to each other while solving an issue, facilitates the release of oxytocin in the body, which acts as a bonding hormone for couples. This increases physical affection, thereby increasing intimacy.
6. Making marriage your priority
Fights are a daily part of our lives. We fight with our friends, our family members and also our spouses. It is a natural human instinct and can only be countered by reasonable logic. Amidst all this, you have to remember how much you love each other and how your marriage is the root of your relationship. You have to remind yourself that some relations are more important than your victory. This will help you eliminate all negative approaches towards conflict. After all, love is above everything.