A marriage isn’t a bed of red roses. If you’ve loved your partner, you might have drowned yourself in a sea of fire full of compromises and loads of understanding. Sometimes, things don’t go as you wished for them to happen. Fights are quite a natural thing to happen when it comes to living together. It is never a plain, straight road.
Sometimes, you cannot just deal with your partner’s behavior and end up having a sudden burst of emotions in the form of fights. These fights are obviously unpleasant to deal with and can cause major rifts between your partner and you. So, you need to watch what you say, even during your fights.
Here’s what you should NEVER do or say during a fight with your husband.
1. “Always” and “Never” should not be a part of your vocabulary
Blame games are never fun. Not even for your husband. It is a bad idea to use words like ‘always and ‘never’ to tell your partner what they always or never do, as it might sound like you’re blaming your husband for everything bad that’s happening in your marriage. It can complicate things further for you because nobody likes taking the blame for a misunderstanding.
2. Stay away from the name-calling game
Stick to calling out the regular names you call them with. Never verbally abuse your partner because it will only bring in more anger. If this is the major concern during your fights, then you have got to take a chill pill, talk out your differences and set basic ground rules.
3. Your “Sorry” doesn’t heal the emotional wounds
Don’t just say sorry if you’ve hurt your husband. Mean it when you apologize to him for your mistakes. Let them know how much they mean to you and make them understand that all the hurtful things you’ve said to them will never be said ever again.
4. Leave out all the taunts
It is possible for you to get very, very upset during a fight. Although taunts are a lethal weapon of most women, you need to stay away from it. Taunting your husband can only make things worse for you, as they will feel further irritated.
5. Don’t jump to conclusions
Don’t overthink and jump to conclusions. Use logic and have some patience before you do or say anything to your partner. Talking it out in peace is the best possible thing for you to do right now. Talk about your feelings on the issue. This way your partner also won’t feel targeted and threatened.
6. Don’t run away from the fight
If your husband wants to talk about the argument again, give him the liberty to do so. You know you love him and you know he loves you back. If he wants to talk about it after analyzing the cause of the fight, he should be given that much freedom to speak about it with you. You should never turn your back on him during this phase. It will make matters worse for you.
7. Make-up sex isn’t really a thing
Forcing yourself to have sex to get close to your partner can never help you sort out your problems. Even after you’ve both said your sorries and he makes a move on you, you need not give in to it. Instead of being rude to him and storming away, try making him feel special with your words. Saying things like, “I’m happy that you really want to be close to me again, but I’m not feeling it yet. I need to be by myself for a bit.” Give him a little hug and kiss while you’re saying it.
Go for cuddles instead! Easy isn’t it?
8. Don’t get too worked up incase of a fight
Fighting is a sign of couples trying to re-work on their relationship. A relationship is as good as dead if a fight is not solved. When you see your partner is giving up and raising his hands up and walking away, that’s a clear cut indication of not being interested in rekindling the romance. Don’t get worked up too much if you realize that it isn’t working out.
9. Don’t fight to win
Marriage isn’t a game. So, don’t focus on winning or losing a fight. Don’t emphasize on who’s fault it is, but focus on resolving your differences.
10. Don’t lie
Lying just to prove yourself and your point is a straight out ‘BAD IDEA’. It will only jeopardize your happy marriage and give room to more misunderstandings. It is important for you to be honest in your relationship with your husband.