Raise your kids self esteem and not yours

“Mom I’ don’t like going to karate class”. “Mom I like to do painting and play with mud”.  EYEBROWS raised by mom, what? Karate can make u more fitter and you can go to national and international level,And you  can go and compete with best champions.  Just read your mind, and realize it that how many of you, have been doing and raising your kids to fulfill your dreams, rather than asking them, what you want to learn. This is my own experience which I am sharing with all moms. Angel is a 5 year old daughter and as she was born, I had made all dreams in to picture for her future. Since she was born so beautiful, all relatives suggested me to put her in advertising on TV, so that she will be famous or rather than her,  my family will be famous. Did my new born told me that I want to be famous? No afcourse, she is small to do so, but even if I have given birth to her, I had no right to decide her career as soon as she was born. As she was growing, I used to take her to auditions daily, travelling to 50 kms away from home daily in train, cab and car, and fetching one or two assignments. Slowly angel started getting frustrated to those audition and stopped expressing on camera, that day I realize that she may be beautiful and can do acting too but she is not interested. Immediately I stopped the agency to ask me take her to audition. Then I thought let’s admit her in singing  and dance classes. And to save time I also put her in guitar classes, my bad that I made those tiny fingers to get hit on those Guitar chords. After some week, she said mom my finger pains a lot, playing on guitar. I thought some time kids throw tantrum and to motivate her I also join guitar and dance classes with her, and I realised that the pain is so much that I was unable to do my daily chores at home after coming from class. I immediately made her leave guitar classes and continued with other two. One day angel told me, mom why have u put me in all classes, I don’t like going to dance or music classes, now this came to me shocking because she was extremely doing well in both classes. I said this is necessary for your life  and career. She said what is carreer? And I was so shocked for myself, that what wrong parenting I am doing, I am making my angel a monkey learning. A monkey if trained in particular stunt will do it perfectly, whether  monkey like or not. Any person like this, will be well trained, but not well educated.  Now that was turning point of my life, when I realized that I made angel do all what I wanted to do as a child, which due to financial constraints, I cudnt do. That day I realize that I’m not raising her self esteem but I was trying to raise my self esteem. I was not building her confidence, I was throwing my confidence on her, considering she is my kid and I want every one to praise her for doing all those stuff which makes her famous. Enough was enough I asked her what do u like to do, she said I like to play with colours and mud, I was surprised but I thought lets try what she wants to do. I bought huge box of colours, Clays and mud box. The first thing she picked up was mud and played for 30 min, spoiled  her dress and hands, and I was like what she is doing, but when I saw her face, she was so happy and content, and she was trying to play with her mud ball by pressing it between thumb and curled finger and it was coming out as genie.  The happiness was par beyond my expression.  Watching her having do much fun, even I messed up with mud, and what fun it was,  mom and angel playing in mud, doing makeup all over face with mud, doing woogly woogly whoosh. Slowly slowly I asked her to make something and she made a beautiful Ganpati out of it and colored it too. This was the best day of my parenting when I learn that, Chodo log kya kahenge, logo ka kaam hai Kehna. Let angel do what she wants to do. Let her grow her own confidence in her own style.  Self esteem is her own property, she will fly and achieve. I will not throw mine on her.  Now she is good painter herself and carves beautiful idols of her favorite cartoon characters. And a more happy child, she hugs me 10 times now saying I love brin”Mom I’ don’t like going to karate class”. “Mom I like to do painting and play with mud”. EYEBROWS raised by mom, what? Karate can make u more fitter and you can go to national and international level. And u can go and compete with best champions. Just read your mind, and realize it that how many of you, have been doing and raising your kids to fulfill your dreams, rather than asking them, what you want to learn. This is my own experience which I am sharing with all moms. Angel is a 5 year old daughter and as she was born, I had made all dreams in to picture for her future. Since she was born so beautiful, all relatives suggested me to put her in advertising on TV, so that she will be famous or rather than her my family will be famous. Did my new born told me that I want to be famous? No afcourse, she is small to do so, but even if I have given birth to her, I had no right to decide her career as soon as she was born. As she was growing, I used to take her to auditions daily, travelling to 50 kms away from home daily in train, cab and car, and fetching one or two assignments. Slowly angel started getting frustrated to those audition and stopped expressing on camera, that day I realize that she may be beautiful and can do acting too but she is not interested. Immediately I stopped the agency to ask me tale her to audition. Then I thought let’s admit her in singing and dance classes. And to save time I also put her in guitar classes, my bad that I made those tiny fingers to get hit on those Guitar chords. After some week, she said mom my finger pains a lot, playing on guitar. I thought some time kids throw tantrum and to motivate her I also join guitar and dance classes with her, and I realised that the pain is so much that I was unable to do my daily chores at home after coming from class. I immediately made her leave guitar classes and continued with other two. One day angel told me, mom why have u put me in all classes, I don’t like going to dance or music classes, now this came to me shocking because she was extremely doing well in both classes. I said this is necessary for your life and career. She said what is carreer? And I was so shocked for myself, that what wrong parenting I am doing, I am making my angel a monkey learning. A monkey if trained in particular stunt will do it perfectly, whether monkey like or not. Any person like this is will be well l trained, but not well educated. Now that was turning point of my life, when I realized that I made angel do all what I wanted to do as a child, which due to financial constraints, I cudnt do. That day I realize that I’m not raising her self esteem but I was trying to raise my self esteem. I was not building her confidence, I was throwing my confidence on her, considering she is my kid and I want every one to praise her for doing all those stuff which makes her famous. Enough was enough I asked her what do u like to do, she said I like to play with colours and mud, I was surprised but I thought lets try what she wants to do. I bought huge box of colours, Clays and mud box. The first thing she picked up was mud and played for 30 min, spoiled her dress and hands, and I was like what she is doing, but when I saw her face, she was so happy and content, and she was trying to play with her mud ball by pressing it between thumb and curled finger and it was coming out as genie. The happiness was par beyond my expression. Watching her having do much fun, even I messed up with mud, and what fun it was mom and angel playing in mud, doing makeup all over face with mud, doing woogly woogly whoosh. Slowly slowly I asked her to make something and she made a beautiful Ganpati out of it and colored it too. This was the best day of my parenting when I learn that, Chodo log kya kahenge, logo ka kaam hai Kehna. Let angel do what she wants to do. Let her grow her own confidence in her own style. Self esteem is her own property, she will fly and achieve. I will not throw mine on her. Now she do lot of painting at home and carve lot of human structures from mud. 

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