A woman plays so many roles in her life like a daughter, sister, wife …but the most important and special role for her is when she becomes a mother. I have often read so many stories related to how a new mum is being judged by everyone, her friends, neighbours and even her family members who raise a question on how she is nurturing her child.
First of all, after delivery and going through the unbearable pain of labour, she almost gives up as she feels too weak to handle her own body and she is unable to do her normal routine work. Here I am talking about a normal delivery, the situation is far worse in case of c-section where it may take a year or two to completely recover the body.
From managing busy schedules to dealing with outside influences, mothers have their hands full these days. There is broad agreement among the public that it is harder to be a parent today – especially a mother! She is blamed for almost everything she chose for her baby. Three very common issues mothers are generally blamed for
1. Breastfeeding/formula feeding:
People interfere and comment on the mother’s milk supply. For example, if her baby isn’t sucking in the way that stimulates milk production, people are quick to point out that the supply is low. But no one spots the problem and shows her how to correct it. The other is that she actually has plenty of milk, but believes or is told she doesn’t. This can happen when a baby nurses more often than someone thinks is normal. Frequent nursing is normal in the early days — essential, in fact, for establishing milk supply. Let’s deal with the problems so we can help mothers rather than dump on them. One of my friend who recently became a mom is facing the same issue where she is told by her husband or even her mom that she is not breastfeeding her baby properly. I think a mum knows better about his child than anyone.
2. Stay at home/working mom:
Today’s mother is expected to be a dual role of cool smart professional at work and nurturing caring mother at home. If she chooses to become a working mom and put her baby in day care, eyebrows are being raised tagging her as a careless mom and opposite to this if she chooses to become a stay at home parent, many times being judged as one who has no ambition in life. Whether a mother has a career or stays at home, motherhood is a monumental job.
Taking an example here where actor Shahid Kapoor’s wife Mira Rajput made a statement about working mothers that they treat babies like pets. This is an unfair judgement!
Not until the birth of a baby did a mother fully appreciate just how difficult the job of mothering is, what it calls on in oneself, and how it pulls on every single aspect of your emotional and physical life.
3.Child’s medical health:
Yes, this is also one of the reasons for which a mother is being judged by others for a very long time. we are most likely to point accusingly at parents when we don’t know what causes a neurological condition like, say, autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder or depression.
It’s time we stop being so judgmental about those parents with a 5-year old who can’t sit still, a 7-year-old who can’t stop washing her hands, or a 10-year-old who’s clinically depressed.
Let’s just not judge mothers!